Sunday, March 11, 2012

Underneath the snow...

One lives with so many bad deeds on one's conscience and some good intentions in one's heart. -John Dewey

I will be completely honest, my intention to reflect on daily moments of gratitude was a difficult task to accomplish in the past two weeks. So far March has been over-scheduled and a complete mire of professional and personal affairs- some affecting me directly, others affecting people that I earnestly care about. Children being bullied by adults, adults behaving like children, unapologetic bigotry, and the grief of a young child finding out that her mother's cancer cannot be cured were just some of the events that occurred. By the end of last week I was feeling so low I had lost the energy to even cry, and I was struggling to be grateful for anything. Gratitude can be hard to summon up when the world around you feels so callous.

Last Sunday Ler thought some fresh air would do us some good. It was mild outside and it was snowing like it does in a snow globe. Big, fat wet flakes fell from the sky and floated in zig-zagging paths before coming to rest on the ground. It was so beautiful, fresh, and still. Then came a gleaming little moment of joy- daffodil greens poking up from underneath the snow.

Dispite the bleak winter coldness this little plant pushed its way up through the snow with the promise of better things to come. Life may be cold and bitter at times, but hope is always just below the surface.

My incomplete list of gratitudes for February 27- March 10
1. Beautiful wet, heavy snow that covered everything in a glittery blanket. It made driving home a nightmare, but it was a pretty looking nightmare.
2. Despite the 6 inches of snow the Robins returned- spring is nearly here.
3. Ler did my laundry for me. He hates laundry like no other beast, but loves me enough to tackle the laundry monster.
4. It was 60 degrees outside! Then it snowed again. Oddly enough, this is one of the things I enjoy about living in Wisconsin. The weather makes me feel like a stable and decisive person.
5. Daffodils sprouting!
6. Tulips blooming. Sort of. Tulips that I bought and put in a vase, but they make me smile.
7. Curling up on the couch with a giant bag of Cheetos and watching (and singing along with) Beauty and the Beast with my sister. Gaston is a bastard.
8. A snowy walk with my Ler.
9. The sand hill cranes have returned.
10. Coming home to a freshly cleaned apartment. The best part is that I did none of the cleaning.
11. My pudgy cat required some serious snuggling. She wanted to hold onto me like a koala and gave little sand-papery kisses on my nose. Squee!
12. Fabulous food, family and friends on a Sunday afternoon. Chorizo, Kaluha in coffee and funny stories are a wonderful way to wrap up the weekend.

I can only believe that this week will be less disparaging. There is hope springing forth.

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